2 responses to discussion board posts. The discussion post was about. I’m working on a communications discussion question and need support to help me understand better.
I want 2 responses to each of these classmates discussion board posts. Each response should be 150-200 words.
Classmate post 1:
I really do not have a significant other who engages in inappropriate self-disclosure, even after an entire extra day of thinking about this I still cannot think of anyone who is a significant other of mine who engages in inappropriate self-disclosure. I can think of situations where I have been in a public setting and heard someone engage in inappropriate self-disclosure and the best thing I can do is explain this situation. They were giving details about their romantic relationships with their significant others and not only was it inappropriate because most of the people at the table did not know them personally but also because people were eating there food. “Some people have trouble with what’s popularly known as “TMI…”” (Chapter 3, pg. 92).I believe they can improve their inappropriate self-disclosure by increasing their awareness of their surroundings. I understand that him and his close buddies may enjoy talking about those things, but most people do not, and especially with people we do not know closely. Another thing he could do is to save that conversation or topic for a more private scenery and private setting. I used silence, and I feel that by being silent this also was a form of hinting. I felt that not adding fuel to the fire of an inappropriate conversation was best and also being non-confrontational I felt would be the best route. The outcome of my interaction was the inappropriate speaker slowly started to stop speaking inappropriate and the subject was changed.
I recently was visiting a friend at his house after we played a round of golf. Some observable qualities I noticed were his massive dining room table, his cool welcome matt and also his very large cat condo. My first-order realities would be he eats at his table often, he has a cat and has a place to wipe his feet when he comes in the door. My second-order realities would be he has a very large family that is why he has a large dining table, with the large dinners comes lots of guests, that’s why he has a cool welcome matt and he takes care of his animals more than average. A lot of people perceive things differently, due to the variability of our upbringings and life styles. Some things I could take one way, and the person standing next to me could have perceived it completely different. Second-order realities start to dig into the meaning of things or also could mean the way someone perceives it. I personally think a foreign accent is interesting to hear and is “exotic” but someone else could find them not interesting and possibly annoying. “(e.g., the accent makes her sound exotic.)”(Chapter 4, pg.105).
Classmate post2: My sister is big on self disclosure. She might not realize it but she is. One thing about her and self disclosure that isn’t the most appropriate, is that she is almost too open. She takes self disclosure to a whole new level. When she posts on face book, or is talking to someone new, she has a tendency to over share. The thing that I always hear is to never talk about politics or religion, and she does very much of both. She goes over boundaries when self disclosing and it has gotten messy for her because of that many times in the past. I think she just needs to work on self monitoring better. I actually wrote about it last week about how that is actually something she needs to work on. If she was just more aware of what she is saying, or just would think more before she spoke I genuinely think it would save her a lot of trouble and wouldn’t upset as many people as she has in the past.
The alternative to self disclosure, silence, in the textbook is defined as “One alternative to self-disclosure is to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself.” (Chapter 3 Pg. 94) I used this alternative back a couple weeks ago when my best friend Charly and I got into a pretty gnarly argument. I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was about because it feels like forever ago. Her and I have very similar personalities so when we fight they have a tendency to get pretty intense. During this argument, instead of feeding into the chaos of it and making each other more upset than we already were, I just went quiet. This one I actually use a lot in my day to day life, exactly like this situation. I decided to back down, and just stop fighting. I didn’t want to say anything brutally honest or hurtful so I backed down and just went silent. I let her have her piece then apologized shortly thereafter and agreed to disagree. I think in that moment that was the best thing that I could have done because it resolved the situation almost instantly and we avoided a lot of hurt. When it came to using this alternative of silence, I used it because I figured it would deescalate the situation much quicker rather than if we kept fighting.
Right now as I am typing this, I am on the phone with a friend of mine. My first order reality is that he is at home in bed with a movie playing in the background. My second order reality would be he is watching Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith and that is one of my favorite movies. Our second order realities differ because we all think differently, and all have different likes, dislikes, and personalities. I could be hearing the movie and think how much I love Star Wars, and someone else could watch it and think it is lame that he is watching Star Wars. In the textbook it says “By contrast, second-order realities involve our attaching meaning to first-order things or situations” (Chapter 4 Pg 105) Everyone has different attaching meaning to different things, because we all are different.